PAPACITO #01

I've been dreaming of having a baby for several years now. Unfortunately, my wife hasn't quite been on board yet, since we wanted to travel first and do all the things that aren't so easy to do with a baby.

We love traveling more than anything, and we've gone on at least one trip every year. We've flown together from neighboring European countries all the way to South Africa via Cuba—have we traveled enough by now?

Our annual joke became a reality toward the end of 2024, when my wife, as usual, asked what I wanted for Christmas. Wrapped up as a joke and laced with sarcasm, my request for a doctor's note authorizing the removal of my IUD seemed, ONCE AGAIN, like a perfectly reasonable request.

My broad smile barely fit inside our apartment when that doctor's note landed in my hands—and then it was time to get to work!

My long-held dream—and the CERTAIN knowledge I'd already convinced myself of, that my "super sperm" would take hold as early as the third month after ejaculation—hit me almost immediately. Maybe not exactly in the third month, but my self-esteem withstood this blow. Surely every man thinks he possesses some kind of supernatural power—or, in this case, sperm.

I'd already bought several pregnancy tests from the local store. What's with this habit of always buying extras just to be safe?

After what felt like an eternity, with sweaty, trembling hands, I held the test that showed two lines. One was slightly fainter, so of course I had to go to the pharmacy to get the REAL pregnancy test.

Finnish men don't trust the cheap tests from the corner store, even if there were several of them and the results were 99 percent accurate. We needed a premium test.

Of course, for some reason, we had to buy at least two of those as well. Just to be on the safe side.

Did I actually get my period for the third month in a row?!

Just as a suggestion for improvement, I'd like to propose to the test manufacturers that, for men's sake and for the sake of clarity, they could print in really big letters right next to the reading whether it refers to days, weeks, or months. Blinded by excitement, this wasn't exactly a clear-cut situation—at least not for me. My train of thought stalled for a moment, or maybe there were just so many thoughts racing through my head that I didn't know where to start.

WE'RE PREGNANT!

Note! WE are pregnant. At least that's how it felt in that moment. The impending symptoms of morning sickness were already washing over me right then and there.

Being the impatient person that I am, I was, of course, already ready to tell everyone about it. I even had the caption for my Instagram Story ready:

PAPACITO IS HAVING A BABY!

Apparently, though, I won't be letting a word of this slip to anyone for a long time—not that I would, of course.

At this point, it was only the first few days—weeks?—months?—of the pregnancy.

How the hell am I supposed to keep this news to myself for months on end when my tongue is itching like a rock star, ready to let it all out and shout it to the world? Patience isn't my strong suit. I wouldn't want to talk about anything else anyway. That's why I'm pouring my thoughts out here now.

And that's how it came about

PAPACITO